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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27780967">But We're Still Here</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JosephThropp/pseuds/JosephThropp'>JosephThropp</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Babies, Crying, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:35:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,794</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27780967</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JosephThropp/pseuds/JosephThropp</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Greg and the Gems contend with a variety of different reactions when facing something unprecedented. They now live in a world without Rose Quartz, and a world with Steven Quartz Universe in her place.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amethyst &amp; Greg Universe, Garnet &amp; Greg Universe, Greg Universe &amp; Steven Universe, Pearl &amp; Greg Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>But We're Still Here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is something I wanted to work on for some combo of comfort and contextualization after some personal stuff happened. It's a very loose and messy look at the concept, but it's what felt right to me at the time. Many thanks to Abel for beta-ing and everything else that he did and continues to do for me.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When the doors of the van suddenly swung open, Greg almost thought it was a burglar with a particularly glorious mane. The fear dissipated quickly, though. By the time he shot up off his mattress, he recognized the purple hue. Right, Amethyst had changed up her look just a few weeks ago after trying to swallow one of Pearl’s swords. Long hair this time, and with long sleeves to boot.</p><p>Greg had liked it at the time. Amethyst had made a crack about fitting in with him and Rose; Steven too, once he came along. She’d been so convinced that Steven wouldn’t have any choice but to have luscious locks that matched his parents’. </p><p>Now, Steven was here. He didn’t have long hair, though. It was dense and curly, but it wasn’t long. </p><p>Greg wasn’t sure why he was relieved about that. </p><p>At least Steven seemed a lot more excited about the sudden visit than him. The little guy looked up from where he sat beside the mattress, opening and closing his mouth until saliva spilled down his chin. He’d been reaching up towards his mobile for minutes on end before this new development caught his attention </p><p>“Sup, Gregosaurus?” Amethyst asked, hopping up into the van. “Haven’t seen you two in days. Big G said it was probably time to come check up on y’all.” </p><p>“Garnet said that?” Greg responded, rubbing one eye. The sudden flood of sunlight had really caught him off-guard. </p><p>“Kinda. She actually said we should drop by all together, but Pearl’s being all mopey still. Anyway why’s Baby eating vomit? I thought she wasn’t supposed to do that.”<br/><br/>The so-called vomit was just mashed-up peas, but Greg didn’t feel pressed to correct the gem on that front. It really <em> did </em>look like vomit. He just relaxed with a groan, flopping back down onto the bed carefully. He’d discovered that falling too fast could quite nearly send Steven flying up out of his play chair. </p><p>“It’s just baby food,” Greg answered, noticing the mushy green stains on Steven’s cheeks. “We had lunch a little bit ago. Half a taco for me, a glass jar of goop for <em> Steven.”  </em></p><p>“Oh <em> yeeeaaahhh, </em>right, Steven! I keep forgetting ‘baby’ is just what kind of human she is.” </p><p>Greg winced. “What kind of human <em> he </em>is, Amethyst.” </p><p>“Yeah, yeah, he! Rose loves different words and bodies, that’s cool!” </p><p><em> Rose. </em>Greg hasn’t even said her name since the day Steven was...born. Hearing it so suddenly was jarring, but he tried not to show it. He just steeled his face and watched Amethyst waddle over to Steven, plopping down next to him. He was afraid that she was going to shapeshift into a baby and try to play with him again, but that glow and familiar noise never came. She only gave Steven’s hair a light tussle, making him coo and giggle at the touch. </p><p>Steven loved to be touched. It soothed him almost as much as good jams. Greg had let Vidalia and Fryman hold him, but he hadn’t invited the Gems over since that day. They’d sat down at the end of the beach, waiting around the corner for Greg and Rose. They’d come back to find Greg with an oddly placid baby. One that wasn’t crying. </p><p>Just like now. While Steven hadn’t been fussy while he sat and played with the mobile attached to his chair, he wasn’t nearly as sunny and happy looking as he was now. Just a little bit of head patting and the boy was reaching up and trying to grab at Amethyst’s fingers. Greg would have to try and break out of this funk and have the gems come by more often. </p><p>It was good, watching Steven play like this. Other kids in the area were only getting bigger every day, and the Frymans were still trying for another little one. Letting the Gems socialize with Steven was probably Greg’s best bet. He gave a thin smile as he turned on his side to watch. If only he had any spare film for his camera.<br/><br/>“Soooo, if it’s just food, is he gonna eat it, or can I have dibs?” Amethyst asked, lowering a finger to hover just above Steven’s cheek. </p><p>Greg was quick to shake his head and sit back up. That didn’t sound like responsible parenting. </p><p>“No, no, lemme clean him up,” he insisted, picking up a container of anti-bacterial wipes from the mess surrounding the mattress.  </p><p>“Aight, if you wanna waste some perfectly good...” Amethyst stopped to smell the air. “Peas, huh? I guess if you gotta eat ‘em, they’re at least better all mashed up.” </p><p>With that, she shrugged and backed off, scooting behind Steven and his chair to allow Greg the room to wipe his son’s face. She watched closely, though. Her eyes narrowed a bit as she peered over Steven’s shoulder, tilting her head much like a confused cat would.  </p><p>Greg looked between her and his sputtering child. “What’s up? He smell funky or something? I don’t think I’m going nose-blind, but—”<br/><br/>“Nah, nothin’ like that.” Amethyst shook her head, pointing to the wipe in Greg’s hand. “Just looks like it’s all crusty, not good for mouthfeel. Has it been there for a minute?” </p><p>That question stopped Greg’s hand for a minute. He lifted the wipe away to look at Steven’s face and the few pea stains still remaining there. Sure enough, the green hue of the food was darker now, and the bits he’d already wiped away had flaked off. It wasn’t soft and mushy like it had been before. </p><p>“Aw, geez, I guess it has…” He took a minute to wipe off the remaining stains before pulling Steven from the chair and cradling him in his arms. “Oh, buddy. I’m so sorry. That was almost a half hour ago, wasn’t it? I didn’t even think to wipe your face.” </p><p>That was such a simple little problem, so why couldn’t Greg have just done it? Just cleaned up his baby boy’s face like a father was supposed to do. </p><p>None of this seemed like much of a bother to Steven, who only drooled and wiggled in his father’s arms. He’d notably taken to vocalizing a bit sooner than most infants, and that was evident in how he sighed and cooed in Greg’s arms. The noises gave way to some that were  notably less contented when a fat little tear fell down onto the baby’s face, splashing against his cheek and surprising him. </p><p>Greg heard Amethyst rise from the floor behind him before he felt her hand on his shoulder, causing him to jolt up slightly. She’d noticed, then. It was either Steven’s little gasp, or how Greg shivered slightly as he held him. Just when he thought he’d learned to keep it all in, he was having a moment again. </p><p>“Uhhh, dude?” the Gem asked, scratching the back of her head as she walked around to Greg’s side, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay? It’s not a big deal, babies don’t care about that stuff. They’re chill!” </p><p>She was right, but it wasn’t about Steven. It was, but not really. This particular issue somehow had extraordinarily little to do with him. It wasn’t because of him that Greg felt like he’d failed in doing the most basic things. </p><p>It was because of Rose. </p><p>No part of Greg knew how to approach that elephant in the room, and every part of him was afraid that he simply never would. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Greg had only just finished changing Steven out of a messy onesie when he noticed Garnet walking down the beach towards them. Maybe it was due to good timing, or it was a peek at the timeline future nonsense that Greg had never understood. EIther way, she’d come at a nice lull in the day. </p><p>Mercifully, she was much more comfortable sitting in silence than Amethyst, and good at not looking perturbed by the occasional crying, too. Must’ve been the visor. Either way, it was easy for them all to sit in the shade of the van, with the doors opened wide. The fresh air was probably good for them. He and Steven needed it to live, and Garnet...well, she just seemed to appreciate the great outdoors. Sitting on beaches and walking through woods were hobbies of hers that Greg had just never questioned. </p><p>“He looks like you,” Garnet said suddenly. She offered her palm over towards Steven in Greg’s arms, letting the boy reach out and lay tiny fingers on one of her gems.  </p><p>It was the one with the triangle. Was that Sapphire? Garnet had explained it to Greg at some point, but that conversation was so far away from where he was at. Now, he was just left stewing on what was just said. That comment about Steven looking like him. </p><p>“Not like her, though?” </p><p>The sudden response felt bitter on Greg’s tongue as soon as he said it. There was no malice in what Garnet had said, but it stung him anyway. That didn’t make it right for him to go lashing out, though. Almost as soon as he’d spoken, Greg heaved a sigh. </p><p>“Sorry, sorry, I’m sorry. That’s not fair,” he began, running a hand through his tangled mop. “I shouldn’t have said—” </p><p>“I don’t know.” </p><p>Garnet pulled her hand back as soon as she spoke, folding it with her other. Steven curiously watched it go for a moment before turning back into his father’s chest, happily drooling onto Greg’s shirt. The saliva mixed with the existing stains from previous encounters with spit-up and flung baby food. </p><p>“You...haven’t looked?” Greg asked. </p><p>“No. I’ve considered it...but I can’t.” </p><p>That didn’t make any sense. “But she <em> loved </em>having you look into stuff. Whenever I had any questions about this or that, she was always telling me to go to you and—” </p><p>“I <em> can’t, </em>” Garnet repeated, standing from the sand and taking a few steps away from the van. “I want to know, but it...it’s frightening.” </p><p>There was a noise as Greg watched the back of Garnet’s head, while she brought a hand up to her face. When she turned back towards him, her visor was gone and it was only too easy to see the grief in her eyes. No tears, but definitely a heck of a lot of pain. </p><p>“We all want Steven to be well, but we don’t know what’s going to happen.” she said, walking back up to the van and kneeling by where Greg sat at the edge. “You already know that a Gem has never mothered a human before. That means we’re going into this just as blind as you.” </p><p>Blind. That was a good word for it. All the books in the world hadn’t prepared Greg for everything he was finding out about being a dad. Nothing he’d read suggested old rock EP’s for soothing a crying infant, but Steven was special in ways besides the big pink gem inside of his tummy.  </p><p>That hadn’t stopped Greg from figuring it out. For the sake of his son and a woman he loved, the man had powered through uncertainty to make things work. It hadn’t happened thanks to future vision, useful as it might have been. It was just love. </p><p>Garnet was smart about love. She was an advocate that had always helped Greg and Rose throughout their years together. Even now, she was here helping Greg and the last little gift that Rose had left in the world, even when it must’ve felt impossible. </p><p>Garnet still did it, though. </p><p>“Does it scare you?” Greg asked, looking down sadly at his son in his arms. </p><p>Garnet hesitated before shaking her head. “No. I can’t afford to be scared. Not with you, or with Pearl, or with—” </p><p>“Yes, you can,” Greg responded, putting a little force behind his words. “It’s scary not knowing. And it’s even worse being scared without—!” </p><p>He couldn’t manage to work up that last word, but Garnet must’ve understood anyway. Her three eyes widened as Greg’s voice broke. The hurt in her gaze didn’t go away, but there was something more to it now. A little glimmer in those purple irises that Greg wanted to see as pity, even when he knew it was nothing more than sympathy. </p><p>The fusion slowly rose back up off the ground, sitting herself at Greg’s side again. Her arm found its way around his shoulder, clearly trying to calm him. It wasn’t until Greg felt a gem on his right shoulder that he realized he was trembling and holding Steven just a little bit tighter. </p><p>“You’re right,” Garnet said softly, “it can be terrifying not to know the future. That can be an asset to you, though, Greg. You’ve never been truly certain of just what was going to happen in your life, and that still hasn’t ever stopped you yet. I believe that can be your strength.” </p><p>That was an optimistic way of looking at things. Garnet was essentially suggesting that maybe not knowing if things would be okay was better than being sure. Still, Greg found himself wanting to take that idea and run with it. He was going to need as much strength as he could, even if it came to him in a way that didn’t feel entirely right. </p><p>“I want to believe,” he stated, lifting Steven up closer and kissing the boy on the top of his head. “I gotta believe. I gotta do it for him, Garnet.” </p><p>“You will. I don’t need future vision to know that.” </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Steven was already asleep when Greg heard a gentle rapping at the van doors. He opened them up to find the pale Gem standing alone, eyes trained down on the sand. Her face was blank, betraying nothing about how she must have been feeling. </p><p>“They told me that it might be a good time to come and check in on you,” she muttered, aiming the words down towards the earth. </p><p>It was more than Pearl had said to him the entirety of the day that Greg had seen her last, the day Steven was born. It must’ve been hard for her. For as much as she hadn’t been supportive of Rose’s decision for the longest time, Greg couldn’t help but feel a little sympathy for the Gem. Not only was she swallowing her pride, but she must have understood how he felt. It was hard for both of them, trying to carry on like this. </p><p>Without ever going into too much detail, Rose had explained some of what had gone down between her and Pearl in the last few thousand years. There was a lot of history there, and it showed in every part of Pearl. From the way she seemed to move a little slower right down to how she couldn’t seem to look right at him. </p><p>It wasn’t any easier trying to talk to her now than it had been ever since Greg had met her, but he wanted to try anyway. There was just no way he could look at her struggling with this and not empathize. </p><p>“Little guy finally fell asleep just a bit ago, that old bassinet Vidalia hooked me up with has worked like a dream,” Greg whispered, looking back over his shoulder at said bassinet. “He’s got a bad habit of waking up and getting fussy partway into the night, but you can come see him before that happens. Y’know, if you want.” </p><p>Pearl grimaced, but nodded. She climbed slowly into the van, causing Greg to wonder when the last time that had happened was. It must’ve been years at this point. Maybe that could have some kind of significant meaning attributed to it, if only Greg was the analytic type. </p><p>There was no point trying to analyze what Pearl was doing, though. What was there to decipher? Pearl hated him, but she was here. For Steven. Not really, though. It was obviously for Rose, with Steven just being an extension of her. That was a mindset Greg had already accepted he couldn’t change. He’d decided that much from the moment that he’d watched Pearl lay eyes on the pink gem in the center of Steven’s body and collapse in sobs. This was at least comparatively better.  </p><p>Pearl’s breathing was shaky as she crawled with Greg up to the side of the bassinet, but she wasn’t falling apart just yet. It was starting to look like she might even get through this without a whole scene going down. The Gem kept her composure as she leaned over Steven, even as she winced a bit once she saw him. </p><p>“He hasn’t grown since I last saw him,” she observed, eyes narrowed a bit. </p><p>“Yeah, it...takes a while for humans.” </p><p>“Hm.” </p><p>That little hum of acknowledgement was the last noise Greg got out of Pearl for about ten minutes. Following that, they only sat together in silence while watching Steven twitch and wiggle in his sleep. Greg noted how Pearl’s eyes were ever drawn to the baby’s torso, where a tiny little red shirt hung off of him. It was yet another hand-me-down that Vidalia had been lucky enough to find in her attic. </p><p>Greg knew what Pearl was thinking. What she wanted. It was unclear whether it was a good idea or not, but Greg couldn’t help but want to give it to her. WIthout a word, he slowly reached down and tugged up Steven’s shirt, exposing the facets of his gem beneath it. </p><p>Pearl went still beside him, and Greg feared for a moment that he’d made the wrong call. The expected meltdown never came, though. Tears did begin to fall from Pearl’s eyes, but no sound came with them. She quieted herself before she could wake Steven, lifting both hands up and covering her mouth. It was a gesture that brought another pang of sympathy out of Greg. </p><p>It was difficult, but he knew he had to offer some kind of comfort. For all the differences they’d had over the years, he knew that Rose would’ve hated to see her oldest friend so broken like this. </p><p>There were a few false starts, but Greg eventually managed to lift a hand and lay it onto Pearl’s shoulder. She jumped slightly, turning to look at him through eyes welling with tears. Her hands stayed stuck against her mouth for another moment, before she finally managed to tear them away. </p><p>“How do you do it?” Pearl asked softly. </p><p>“Do what?” </p><p>“How do you just keep going?<em> ” </em> Pearl balled up her fists and slapped them down against her legs, still trembling with the force of her soundless sobbing. “Don’t you know what happened? Why is the world still turning? How can Amethyst just... <em> do </em>things still? The most wonderful person we could’ve ever asked to know is gone, and everyone around me is just—!” </p><p>The little tirade came to a halt as Pearl ground her teeth together and all but smacked her right fist against her face. Greg hardly knew how to respond. It was difficult when he recognized exactly how Pearl felt. She was probably the only other person who could claim to love Rose the way he had, and might’ve even had a case for loving her even more deeply. This wasn’t about quantifying or comparing, though. Love didn’t matter half as much as sympathy or understanding at the moment. </p><p>The hand on Pearl’s shoulder left it as Greg turned away for a moment, reaching for a box of tissues off to his side. He’d gotten a lot of use out of them in the past few days, maybe they could be helpful to a Gem too. </p><p>“You have to cry, Pearl,” he said, offering the tissues to Pearl with a shaky hand. He could already feel tears of his own starting to work their way up into the corners of his eyes. “You have to cry.” </p><p>Pearl lowered her hand from her face, staring at Greg incredulously. “All I’ve done is cry. When does it go away? When do you stop feeling this way?”<br/><br/>That was a good question, and one that Greg was afraid he didn’t have a very good answer for. </p><p>“I don’t think you do,” he said, still holding out the tissues. “I think you just have to live with it.” </p><p>That must’ve cinched it. Pearl’s eyes widened while her mouth formed a tiny little <em> o </em>shape before it all broke. Her face twisted up in grief as she gave way to another sob, taking the box of tissues from Greg’s hand. She pitched forward slightly as she plastered her eyes against the box. Technically misuse, but it was at least the right idea. </p><p>Greg reached for another box of tissues from the corner of the van. Thank goodness for value packs. He tore it open and pulled out one of his own, wiping away his tears. It was all they could do for now, and that was okay. It wouldn’t be the most awful feeling forever. Not so long as they each had people who understood.  </p><p>They must not have been as quiet as they thought, though. The sound of babbling from beneath them caught their attention long enough for Greg and Pearl to look past their tissues for a moment. Sure enough, the fussy phase Greg had mentioned earlier looked to be in full swing, as Steven wiggled and attempted to reach up towards the empty air just above where he was laying. </p><p>Even through the tears and the grief, Greg couldn’t help but smile. “Heh, look at that. He woke up just to see you.” </p><p>“Don’t be absurd,” Pearl responded, though without any real bite behind her words.  </p><p>She did pull the box away, looking down at Steven with a blank expression and idly sniffling. The baby babble didn’t seem to captivate her the way it had so many others. Instead of cooing back or laughing at his noises, she only stared solemnly back at him. </p><p>Eventually, she asked, “What language is he speaking?” </p><p>Greg suppressed a smirk. “None yet. It’ll be a few years before he can talk back to you. It’s just noises for now.” </p><p>“...Rose would’ve loved that. Having to <em> learn </em> communication. Not having it instilled in you from the moment that you…”<br/><br/>Pearl trailed off again, sighing and placing the tissue box back against her face. Greg didn’t push her to go. He only reached down and offered Steven his finger, letting his eyes shut as the boy gripped the digit. </p><p>“I think you’re right,” he whispered. </p><p>Rose would’ve loved this. More than anything else, she would’ve loved seeing life going on, even without her. Just like this. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks to everyone for reading. Make the time today to tell someone important you love them, if you can. You don't ever want to miss having the chance to do so.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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